Essay Correction  - change university introduction
Task 1: Read the four introductions written by your classmates. Do they they all have background info, hints at essay development and a thesis statement? Fill in Table 1 below.
Task 2: Read the four intros again. Consider the highlighted mistakes. Correct these mistakes and write the correct answers in Table 2 below. REMEMBER, they may be more than one possible correction.

Intro 1:  There are many universities all over the world, and there are also universities which are (1) founded a long time ago. These universities are almost __(2) boarding schools. The life of __(3) dormitory gives us many things; we can make many friends, through communication with other friends we can know ourselves again and we can change ourselves, and we can make memories which are never forgotten. If I could make one change to my university, I would make many __ (4) dormitories at my universities (5).

Intro 2: Japanese universities absolutely (6) have a (7) original library. Many university students make use of it to study. Everyone regards the library as important. Although the library is useful for students, a Japanese library don’t (8) open for 24 hours. I feel that is __ (9) disadvantage in that students need to have enthusiasm to study, to improve their reading ability, and to use the Internet. If __ (10) university library change (11), students can have much motivation.

Intro 3:  In Japan, although there is (12) a lot of university (13), my university has enough equipment and _ ____ (14) environment. I am almost satisfied with it, but if I could make one change to my university, I would make a school bus system. Establishing __ (15) bus system would make the fare cheaper, the time shorter, and avoid confusion.

Intro 4:  There are many cafeterias for students in my university. We can choose our favorite cafeteria, and we can have lunch with friends. However, I think that there (16) need more cafeterias (17 find synonym) in my university. Because (18) we have to wait at lunch time everywhere, we’d like to pay cheaper (19), and we’d like to eat more foods of variety (20) kind.

Table 1

 Background info
 Hints at essay development
 Thesis statement
 1:



 2:



 3:



 4:




Table 2
Correction
1
 8
 15
2
 9
 16
3
 10
 17
4
 11
 18
5
 12
 19
6
 13
 20
7
 14