Independent Speaking – Listening To Others:
feedback on speeches 4 - Wednesday 1 SP13
Below are my impressions of some of your
speeches.
Some general points:-
1) Fluency is generally not very good. You all need to improve your
fluency, and you can only do this by speaking English as much as you
can. Go to the Chit-chat club or World Forum. Speak with teachers every
chance you get.
2) Your speeches are quite short. Partly this is because of fluency,
partly because of lack of ideas. To develop your capacity to generate
ideas, go over all your speeches again and for every topic try to come
up with two or three alternative speeches each with different ideas.
3) Support for main points is quite weak, and rarely more than a single
sentence. Again, this is a fluency problem.
4) Think synonyms. Your speeches tend to be repetitive. Try to restate
things using different words. For eample, instead of repeating 'make
friends' again and again, you could say 'form relationships'.
Below are some of your classmates speeches. Please follow these steps.
a) Read the
transcript b) Read my comments in red c) Listen to the speech d) Look
at the errors I have corrected
1.
I prefer sending email to writing letter. Because it is faster to send
email than letter. When I If I have to inform the place or time of the
meeting, I don’t need much time to do. So, there’s no no … so my
friends can know the know the information easy. And secondly, I can
send email easier than letter. I don’t need to buy letter pads or
envelopes to send email. So, it is easy to…(78words) Listen to
speech
This was not a
good
speech. Fluency was not too bad, but the vocabulary was very
simple.although the speaker tried to make a structured speech, the two
main points have almost no support.
(Score 2.8)
Obvious
mistakes -
1) inform
the place or time of the meeting
should be inform
someone of the place or time of a meeting OR confirm the place or time of
a meeting
2) I
can send email easier than letter should
be I
can send email more easily than letter
2.
N0 transcript Listen to speech
This speech was very
difficult to understand and I"m not sure what the speaker was trying to
say. Aboout the only parts I did understand were 'the first reason is'
and 'the second reason is' and I told you not to use these expressions.
(Score under 2)
3.
I prefer sending E-mail to
writing letter. First reason is sending E-mail has the advantage of
fast contact with others. It is like speaking, so it’s fun. Secondly it
is said letters are better to express our feeling than E-mail, but
recently E-mail has pictures which express our felling. So I think
E-mail is better. Third reason is E-mail can send different date. (63
words) Listen
to speech
This speech is a
shopping list with no support for the main points (Score 2)
Obvious
mistakes -
1) First
reason
should be firstly
2) Third
reason
should be finally
4.
I prefer sending e-mail
to
writing letters. Because I have always have cellular phone in my bag.
And it’s easier for me to bring cellular phone than pen and letter
sets. And I’m accustomed to type with cellular phone. And second thing,
e-mail is faster to reach than letters. It takes one and one or two
days uh write letters. But e-mail can be read immediately. If I want to
reserve something or cancel it, it’s too late if I use letters. And
also, we can send e-mail at special time. For example birthday and
anniversary. It makes people more happier than letters. (103) Listen to speech
Fluency was not to
bad, but the structure was weak. More support
for the second main point would have been better than going onto a new
point with 'And
also, we can send e-mail at special time'.(Score 2.5)
Obvious
mistakes -
1)
I have always have
cellular phone should be I always have
cellular phone
2) it’s
too late if I use letters
should be it
takes too long if I use a letter
5.
Of course I prefer
sending
E-mail to writing letter because it is fast and convenient.I have
mobile phone so understand how convenient mobile phone E-mail system
is. When I have little trouble, I can send E-mail to my friends to help
my little some problems. So ,,, whenever I am, I can send E-mail
quickly. It is fast and convenient. Second reason, I can preserve the
E-mail in mobile phone or computer and I can check the context in the
E-mail again and again. Uh, For example, if I forgot the schedule, it’s
no problem, I have mobile, mobile phone and computer. I can confirm,,,
(106 words) Listen to speech
This
speech was OK. The structure and fluemcy were quite good, but the
explanation of main point 1 involved repitition.Grammar was a problem
with some silly errors . (Score 2.8)
Obvious
mistakes -
1) I
can send E-mail to my friends to help
my little some problems
should be I
can send E-mail to my friends to get help with my problems
2) if
I forgot the schedule, it’s
no problem, I have mobile
should be if
I forget the schedule, it’s
no problem, I have mobile
6.
Student absent, no
speech, no transcript
7.
N0 transcript Listen
to speech
This
speech was quite fluent, but there was a lot of repetition. Vocabulary
could be better. (Score 2.8)
8.
I prefer sending an email
rather than writing a letter. First of all sending a mail e-mail is
easier than sending..em writing a letter because you just have to write
your information and then just put the bottom send and its already sent
it and also you don’t have to go to the post office to send you, you e,
your write. Then in second place sending a mail is faster than sending
a bo.. a sending a letter because you have your information and always
in contact with the person so is faster and also you can upload movies
or photos and its make faster the communication. (Words 108) Listen
to speech
This
speech was quite good. The fluency was OK, as was the structure..
There were, however, some silly grammar errors. Main point 2 should
have been developed more, rather than introducing another point. (Score
3)
Obvious
mistakes -
1) then
just put the bottom should be then
just push the button
2) its
make faster the communication should
be it
makes communication faster
9.
Of course, I prefer sending
e-mails to writing letter. Because sending e-mail is easier than
writing letter. I can send whenever and whatever I want to say without
seeing. And my friend and I meet, it’s very smooth with e-mail. Letters
spend more times than e-mail, so important information will be able to
be late. It’s very big problem in recent society. And I can… n, with
e-mail, I can… many people n, I can send same information to many
people at… at once. So it is very conf… use, useful for be… (93 words) Listen
to speech
Fluency was not troo
bad in this speech, but the structure was weak.The explanation of main
point 1 was confused, and main point 2 was underdeveloped. (Score
2.5)
Obvious
mistakes -
1) Letters
spend more times than e-mail should be Letters
take more time than e-mail
2) important
information will be able to
be late
should be important
information could
be late
10.
I prefer sending an
email to
writing a letter. First, ah writing a letter takes longer time than
sending an email. For example, when I wan, when I write a letter, I
have to prepare a pen and papers to write a letter. But when I want to
send an email, what I need to do is just sitting in front of the
computer and just type what I want to write. Secondly, I can attach
many things with an email. For example, I can attach some photos and
movies and some data, datas of my computer. An, but in, ah a writing a
letter doesn’t enable me to do those things. (112 words) Listen
to speech
This speaker spoke
quite quickly and said quite a lot. Fluency was good, and so was the
structure. Main point 2 could have been developed more. (Score 3.2)
Obvious
mistakes -
1) what I need to do
is just sitting in front
should be all
I need to do is just sit in front
2) I
can attach some photos and
movies and some data
should be I
can attachphotos or
movies or data
11.
N0 transcript Listen
to speech
The speech had
fluency problems and was very confused in parts. Please dont say, 'the
first reason is'.(Score
2.2)
12.
I prefer writing
letters to
sending e-mail. If my friends don’t have computer, I won’t be able to
send e-mail. In contrast, writing letters needs only their address. So
it is… ah… it is… it is needs more time than sending e-mail. I can tell
my true feeling ah… to my friends. Then nowadays ah…it is unusual to
write letters. So we… we… we’re happier ah… than…(68 words) Listen
to speech
This speech had very
poor
stucture, and was very confused. Apart from the topic statement, the
rest of the speech left me wondering what the speaker really did prefer.
(Score 2)
Obvious
mistakes -
1) writing letters
needs only their address.
should
be when writing letters
I need only their addresses.
2) it
is needs more time should
be although it
takes more time