Independent Speaking – Listening To Others:
feedback on speeches 1
Below are my impressions of some of your
speeches.
Some general points:-
1) Fluency is generally not very good. You all need to improve your
fluency, and you can only do this by speaking English as much as you
can. Go to the Chit-chat club or World Forum. Speak with teachers every
chance you get.
2) Your speeches are quite short. Partly this is because of fluency,
partly because of lack of ideas. To develop your capacity to generate
ideas, go over all your speeches again and for every topic try to come
up with two or three alternative speeches each with different ideas.
3) Support for main points is quite weak, and rarely more than a single
sentence. Again, this is a fluency problem.
4) Think synonyms. Your speeches tend to be repetitive. Try to restate
things using different words. For eample, instead of repeating 'make
friends' again and again, you could say 'form relationships'.
Below are some of your classmates speeches. Please follow these steps.
a) Read the
transcript b) Read my comments in red c) Listen to the speech d) Look
at the errors I have corrected
1.
Student absent, so no speech
or transcript.
2.
I think first year students
should live on a live in a dormitory on a campus. Because in a
dormitory students can learn relationships of people. They can help
each other in a dormitory. Second in a dormitory the life schedule is
well organized. They get up early and go to bed early. And they eat
well-balanced foods. That is good for you’re their health. (65words) Listen to speech
This speech was
too short. The structure was quite good, but the explanation for main
point 1 was weak. Another weakness was the lack of direct comparisons.
The grammar, however, was good. (Score 3)
3.
I think um first year
student
should live in the dormitory on campus. Because, um dormitory is
cheaper than the apartment. Because um usually the dormitory is cheaper
than apartment. And secondly um there are many friends and in dormitory
so then um they can um get a communication skills than the apartment in
live in apartment. And third point is concentrate, they can concentrate
um their um study in dormitory than um live in apartment. Apartment is
near the city, so um they um can ….(87 words) Listen to speech
Poor structure
here. Main point 1 has no support, just a repeat of the
main point. Also, there are two further main points and neither is
sufficiently explained. Remember the explanation of the main points is
where you show your fluency. Again there is only one attempt at direct
comparison and it showed poor grammar.(Score 2.8)
Obvious
mistakes -
1)
they can concentrate um their um study in dormitory than um live in
apartment
should be they can concentrate
more on their study in a
dormitory than in an apartment.
4.
I think first year
students
should live in dormitory on campus because they can make friends in the
dormitory, so with the friends, they can uh.. play together, studying,
and eat, uh..and discussing.. discuss together. Um..it makes their
campus life much better. And also, the senior in the dormitory support
them. Uh.. they have lived longer than them, so, they uh.. the senior
can good advice to the first year student. Yeah, it makes..uh it’s good
for them.(78words) Listen to speech
The fluency
here was not good. The structure was good, but the
vocabulary was simple, and again there is not much attempt at direct
comparison. (Score 2.8)
1) the senior in the
dormitory support them should be they can get more
support from seniors in a dormitory
2) they have lived
longer should be they have lived on
campus longer
5.
I think 1st year
students
should live in dormitory on campus. Firstly, they can make
friends
when they live in dormitory They sleep and take both together. And they
use the same space and kitchin. So it is easy to make friends. And
secondly, it is easy to accustom new surrounding. Some students comes
from country. Thirdly, they may not feel homesick because they have
many friends in dormitory.(67words) Listen to speech
This speech
makes no attempt at all at direct comparison. It also has
three main points poorly explained. The fluency was OK, but it was
really just a reading of the main points of the speaker’s plan with
almost know support for the main points. (Score 2.8)
1) They sleep and take
both together (I have no
idea what this means, but it sounds… well, it sounds very bad)
2) Some students
comes from country should be Some students come from the country
6.
I think the first-year
students should live in a dormitory on campus because it enables
first-year student to make friends and it is easy for them to get
accustomed to campus life. There are a lot of older students and new
students in a dormitory. They can be friends and share information
about campus life. Also the dormitory is very close to a class room. It
is easy for them to go to class room.(75) Listen to speech
This is not the
correct transcript. The correct transcript should be –
I think the
first-year students should live in a dormitory on campus
because it enables them to make friends and it is easy for them to get
accustomed to campus life. Because there are a lot of older students
and new students in a dormitory, they can be friends and share
information. It’s going to be beneficial to extending to extending
their relationship. Also living on campus, it’s easy for them to go to
a classroom. It enables them to get accustomed to campus life.
This speech was
quite fluent but the real transcript shows there is a
lot of repetition. Main point 2 is not supporte4d at all: what follows
is just a repeated sentence. Again there is no attempt to make direct
comparisons. (Score 3)
7.
The first year students
should
live in a dormitory on campus. Firstly, the stu… the first year
students can learn the communication. Ah, in a dormitory, students
should share everything like a refrigerator and cooking studio. So they
learn the cooperation with each other. And secondly, the dormitory is
very close to the campus. The first year students are, don, do not get
used to the life of university. So it is very useful for students to
live near the campus, because they can sleep more, and be …89 words Listen to speech
This
speech was also quite fluent and the explanation of main point 1 was
quite good. Main point 2, however, had very little support. Again no
attempt at direct comparison. I’m not sure if I understand the
connection between ‘get used to university life’ and ‘they can sleep
more’. (Score 2.8)
1) students
can learn the communication should be students
can acquire communication skills
2) they
learn the cooperation with each other should be they learn how to cooperate with each
other
8.
In my opinion, first year
students should live in a dormitory on campus. First, ah in a
dormitory, they can make friends easily. Beca ah and also usually the
first year students feel loneliness because they are apart from their
home. So they can feel relaxed at ah in a dormitory. Secondly, in a
dormitory, they can learn necessary things to live. Ah because there
are many people around around them ah they have to cooperate them. And
also they have to cook and clean their rooms. So they learn many
things. 92words Listen to
speech
This speech was
quite good, but again there was no attempt to compare.
Structure was good and each main point had some support. (Score 3.2)
1) they can make friends easily should be they can make friends more easily.
2) they
can learn necessary things to live should be they can acquire necessary life skills
9.
I recommend the first
year man
live in dormitory than live in apartment in town. Because…first is
dormitory is much cheaper than living in apartment, because they are…we
don’t pay a high rent cost and lightning and water or gas cost is…so…we
don’t pay. Second is it is more comfortable because we can make friends
before we enter the school. (60 words) Listen to speech
Fluency was a
problem in this speech. It was too short, but it did have
a very good first main point with direct comparison and some support.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t understand what main point 2 was about.
(score 2.5)
1) I
recommend the first year man should be I recommend that first year students
2) we don’t pay a high
rent cost and lightning and water or gas cost
is…so…we don’t pay should be we don’t need to pay a high rent or
lighting, water or gas costs
10.
I think the first year
student
have to live in a apartment in the city. If you live in a
dormitory in
a campus, we don’t know that how … how we cost on my life.
If we live
in a apartment in a city, we have… we can’t know the late system.
If
you don’t know that, we tend to use money in vain. And we have to
accustom… have to be accustomed in the town. It is… can be
the lesson
on your life. (86words) Listen
to speech
This speech was
ambitious, but it was very difficult to understand. I
am really not sure what the speaker wanted to say. I’m sure it was the
speakers true opinion but she was unable to make me see what it was.
REMEMBER, talk about what you can talk about, not what you feel. (Score
less than 2)
11.
I think students should
live
in a dormitory, because the in the dormitory, students can connects
with other students, and they can make a good memory in the dormitory.
And for students to cook a dinner or morning is a great problem for
them. For example, go back from the university and to make a dinner is
too tough work to them. And uh but in the dormitory, it can served. (71
words) Listen
to speech
This is the
wrong transcript.
This speech was not to bad, but the ideas
were simple. I was also irritated by the speaker saying, first reason,
second reason. (Score 2.5)
12.
I think first year
students
uh, should live in dormitory. Uh, because it’s easy to make friends in
eh, the dormitory because they have a lot of time to um, talk each
other and eat our lunch with together. And also, they can study uh,
together. And it may be a good way to study because they can discuss
and um, share the ideas and so I think they should live in dormitory on
campus. (75words) Listen
to speech
Again we have
no direct comparisons in this speech. Also the structure
was poor. What were the main points? I’m not really sure. (Score 2.5)
1)
it’s easy to make friends in eh, the dormitory should
be it’s easier to make
friends in the dormitory
13.
I prefer to live in a
dormitory. Firstly, to live in a dormitory, we can make many friends.
It is fun for us to make a many friends in a campus life. And secondly,
to live in dormitory, we can train to live alone for the future. If we
live in an apartment with our family, we cannot train to live alone, so
it’s good our future to live in a dormitory, so in conclusion, I prefer
to live in a dormitory. (82 words) Listen to speech
This student
completely missed the point of the question. The question
was not ‘Do you prefer to live in a dormitory or an apartment with your
family?’, it was ‘Should 1st year students live in a dormitory or in an
apartment?’ This speech does not answer the question. (Score 2)
14.
I think the 1st year
student
should live in a dormitory because ah, in a dormitory 1st year student
can learn many things from the seniors ah…for example rule of school
and studying and clubs but live alo…if, if 1s student live alone in
apartment, there are nobaldy, there are nobody to ask and depend
on.
And second, in a dormitory 1st year student can make a good
friendship. And making friendship is important to spend a…few
years in
the school. This…so, thisssss… (83 words) Listen to speech
The structure
of this speech was good, but the fluency was not great.
Main point one makes a direct comparison, but main point 2 doesn’t.
(Score 2.8)
1) making friendship
is important to spend a…few years in the school
should be making friendships is
important in the few years you spend at
school
15.
In my opinion,
first year
students should live in the dormitory on campus. Because in a dormitory
uhh students can make good friends, because uhh students uhh live with
the dormitory with, with many people so it can make good friends. And
uhh students in dormitory can help each other. Uhh first year students
don’t know uhh about the university but can help each other, it is very
helpful. (69 words) Listen
to speech
Nice beginning,
but again no direct comparisons. Also, fluency is a
problem, with the main points having very little support. (Score 2.5)
1) so it
can make good friends should be so they can make good friends
16.
I think one year
student
should live in a dormitory on campus. Firstly… firstly, they can
cultivate good friendship with… the same dormitory members. Because
they live in a same house, same dormitory, therefore they can they
share their time with them, so they can communicate much better than
living in a apartment. Secondly, they can prepare for the life of one
lonely life. Apart from …(66) Listen to speech
Fluency a
definite problem here so the speech is very short, with only
one real main point. Main point 2 is incomprehensible. At least there
is one direct comparison. (Score 2.5)
1) one
year students should be first-year students
17.
I think the first year
students should live in a dormitory on campus. Because I can make
friends in a dormitory even different major students. Secondly, in a
dormitory is very safety. Because there are caretaker. Mother and
father. In a evening, caretaker are there. So in a dormitory is very
safety. That’s why, I think the first year’s student should live in a
dormitory on campus. (67words) Listen to speech
Unfortunately, this speech was
spoiled by a faulty microphone
connection. Again,
no direct comparisons. Main point 1 has no support
at all. Main point 2 is very repetitive.. The topic statement and the
concluding statement (which are the same) are almost 50% of the speech.
This indicates poor fluency and/or lack of ideas. (Score 2.2 )
1) a
dormitory is very safety should be a dormitory is very safe
18.
Definitely 1st year
student
should live in a dormitory on campus. Firstly we can make a lot of
friends in dormitory uh… before uh… before uh… yes enter ceremony.
Also, we can make strong… strongly tie. Uh… we can help each other.
Secondly uh we can uh care… care about each other. For example, my
friend uh… sick become sick, so I can take her. 65 words Listen to speech
Again we have
no direct comparisons. This speech shows poor fluency,
simple ideas, and simple vocabulary., Are the main points different, or
is main point 2 part of the support for main point 1? (Score 2)
19. Listen to speech
This
speech was very short, fluency was poor, and the lack of ideas stopped
it after less than 40 seconds. (Score 2)