Independent Speaking – Listening To Others:
feedback on speeches 5 - Friday 3 SP14
Below are my impressions of some of your
speeches.
Some general points:-
1) Fluency is generally not very good. You all need to improve your
fluency, and you can only do this by speaking English as much as you
can. Go to the Chit-chat club or World Forum. Speak with teachers every
chance you get.
2) Your speeches are quite short. Partly this is because of fluency,
partly because of lack of ideas. To develop your capacity to generate
ideas, go over all your speeches again and for every topic try to come
up with two or three alternative speeches each with different ideas.
3) Support for main points is quite weak, and rarely more than a single
sentence. Again, this is a fluency problem.
4) Think synonyms. Your speeches tend to be repetitive. Try to restate
things using different words. For eample, instead of repeating 'make
friends' again and again, you could say 'form relationships'.
Below are some of your classmates speeches. Please follow these steps.
a) Read the
transcript b) Read my comments in red c) Listen to the speech d) Look
at the errors I have corrected
1.
First university
students should live in a dormitory on campus. Eh firstly, eh we can
learn human relationship with other people eh if we live in an
apartment in town we can do everything that I want to do. Secondly, if
I don’t know uh how to do housework I can ask my friends and eh
living cost is cheaper than living in an apartment in town and living
in an apartment takes more time to come to university than living in a
dormitory. (83words)
This speech was
quite fluent, but it was a shopping list. There are four main points
and none of them are explained. Please remember to explain your main
points. Also, I don’t understand the connection
between ‘learn human relationships in dormitory’ and ‘do everything
that I want’ in an apartment. (score 2) Listen
to speech
town we can do
everything that I want to do should be town I can do
anything that I want to do
living in an
apartment takes more time to come should be living in an
apartment , it takes more time to come
2.
A dormitory is better
to live
than apartment. When we live in apartment we must cook ourselves, but
dormitory serves regular food for us. And dormitory isn’t costly,
but
living an apartment is costly. (34 words)
This speech was
very short, with very simple ideas. Fluency was
terrible, but I don’t know if that was because of lack of ideas or just
poor speaking ability. (score less than 2) Listen
to speech
we must cook
ourselves should be we must cook for
ourselves
3.
I think living in a dormitory
on campus is better. Firstly, students who live in a dormitory grew
can grew up more mentally than students who live in a apartment.
Recently, people who don't have brother or sister are increasing. So,
living in a dormitory is useful to work on social in the social in the
future. Secondary, people who live in a dormitory can make friends more
than people who live in a apartment. In the university, students come
from all over the world. So, a.we don't student don't have (90
words) Listen
to speech
This speech was quite fluent and structurally very good. There was
quite good explanation for both main points. There were some silly
grammar mistakes , but not really serious. (Score 3)
can grew up
more mentally should be can
mature
is useful to
work on social in the social should be helps
us to work on
social skills
4.
I think living in dormitory on campus is better. First, it is easy to
make many friends in dormitory and always there are friends. So when I
have troubles, friends listen to me and encourage me, but if I live in
apart alone, it is difficult to do so. So I might feel lonely.
Secondly, I can learn importance of cooperation in dormitory. Uh, in
dormitory, we have to think to other people. So we can get many useful,
useful knowledge. So (82 words) Listen to speech
This speech had a good structure and the fluency was quite good. There
was some explanation of the main points. Speaking faster and saying
more would have made this a very good speech indeed. (Score 3)
but if I live
in apart alone should be but if I
live in an apartment
alone
we have to
think to other people should be we have to
think of other
people
5.
First year students in university should live in apartment in town.
When we live in a apartment there there relax time than in dormitory,
in dormitory we must communicate friends and other people after school
time. Also I must everythingI must do everything by myself in
apartment, but dormitory I can talk about talk with friends and I
decide something with friends.(60 words) Listen to speech
This speech was
very confused, and apart from the topic statement, I
wasn’t sure which the speaker preferred, dormitory or apartment. The
grammar was also very poor. (Score less than2)
there relax
time than in dormitory should be we can
relax more
than in dormitory
we must
communicate friends should be we must
communicate with friends
6.
I think living in a dormitory on campus is better than living in an
apartment in a town. Firstly, we can make friends easily and there are
order students who help us Uh but Ah but in, in an apartment it is so
difficult to make friends or make order stu make helps people.
Secondly, Uh the environment of dormitory is Ah is
good. And for example, all Un there are also food service, talk time
with roommate or something event. Un we can, we can feel comfortable
and and but in an apartment is, in, is ap, ap, living in an apartment
is so it is so(108 words) Listen to
speech
Fluency was a
bit of a problem here, but structurally the speech was
OK. Better fluency would have given more time to explain the main
points. Another problem was the grammar which was not good.
(Score 2.8)
make helps
people should
be get help
from other people
or something
event should
be some other
event
7.
I should first year university student live in dormitory because they
had just moved in the town. So they don’t know much about the town, so
in dormitory there are many friends and elder students so..they can
ask for help for elder students or friends but.in apartment the
person next door almost almost they don’t know so when they in
trouble, they can’t ask for help But in dormitory they can and in
dormitory..they can..easy to make friends because there are many
activities.(75words)
The speech had
problems with fluency and structure. There was only one
main point. Also, the opening statement was not good and left a
very bad impression. (Score 2.5)
I should first
year university student should be I think
first year
students should
when they in
trouble should
be when they
are in trouble Listen
to speech
8.
I think first university students should live in a dormitory on campus.
It’s good. I can in a dormitory I can help each other when I
complicate. And I can make friend with my many people . I tho I
don’t
become miss. There are many friends around me always. And other opinion
It’s easy to go to campus. I can sleep more before I go to campus. But
on the other hand, living in a apartment in a town, I is free. There is
no rule. But sometimes will make me lonely and rude.(95words) Listen to speech
Again fluency
is a problem here. The structure was not too good, and the
grammar was weak. The use of ‘on the other hand’ was wrong. Please do
not use this phrase. Use ‘in contrast’ instead. (score 2.2)
I can help
each other should be we can
help each other
I don’t become
miss. Should
be (I don’t know what it
should be as I
don’t understand it)
9.
I think living in dormitory is better. Firstly, you can make friends.
If you live in an apartment, you always been alone at home. But in
dormitory ah o so many people around you and you can be a friend with
them. Secondly, in a dormitory you can learn how to associate with a
lot of people. It’s will it’s kinda like ah social study. So you can
learn how to corporate with people and how understand what other people
think and you can learn many things from them for living in an hour
living in an year with them.(100 words) THIS IS THE WRONG
TRANSCRIPT!!! Listen to
speech
This speech was
good. It was fluent, well-structured and used some very
good vocabulary. Unfortunately the student either sent the wrong
transcript or didn’t bother to transcribe it accurately. (Score 3.5)
10.
I think I live. living in a dormitory is better for first year
students. Uh firstly, we can make good friends. If I don’t know
anything, my friends teach me cooking recipes, how to use the
computer. Secondly, dormitory has a good security system. If I’m
involved in the accident, manager help me. But if I live in an
apartment, nobody help me. So That’s why living in a dormitory
is better for first year students. (77 words) Listen to speech
This speech was
too short. What the speaker said was OK but there
wasn;t enough. Support for the main points was very weak. (Score 2.8)
my friends
teach me cooking recipes should be my
friends can teach me
what do, such as cooking with recipes
manager help me
should
be the manager can help me
11.
I think it is better for 1st year university student to live in a
dormitory on campus. First, I think it is easy to make a lot of friends
in a dormitory. They can help each other, they don’t have to feel
lonely. Secondly, ah the students in a dormitory can spend good life
style. For example, they can keep early hours. But a students live who
live alone sometimes feel lazy, sometimes they overslept I think. And
ah finally I think it is safe. (85words) Listen to speech
Fluency was not
too bad in this speech, but the structure was poor.
There were three main points with very little explanation for the first
two and none for the third. (Score 2.8)
students in a
dormitory can spend good life style should be students
in
a dormitory can have a good life style
they overslept
should
be they oversleep
12.
I think 1st year university students should live in a dormitory on
campus. The main reason is ah a I can communicate with many friends
in a dormitory. But in an apartment uh a in a apartment, I am alone.
Second second, living in a dormitory is safer than in..live in an
apartment in town. Ah apartment is more dangerous. (56 words) Listen to speech
This speech is
too short. Fluency is a real problem , and there is no
explanation for either of the main points. (Score 2.2)
13.
I think living in dormitory is better than living in apartment in town
for first year university students. Firstly, dormitory is safer than
apartment. So their parents don’t worry about safety. Secondly, if
university students have trouble, for example, studying, relationship
and club activity, they can be supported by around people. It is the
best thing for living in dormitory is making a lot of friends. So they
can learn humanic education. (72 words) Listen to speech
The fluency
here is not too bad, but again there is not enough
explanation of main points. Better fluency means faster speaking rate
which means more content in the speech. (Score 2.5)
parents don’t
worry should
be parents
don’t need to worry
supported by
around people should be supported
by the people around them
humanic
education should be humanistic
education
14.
I think a dormitory on campus is better than an apartment in town.
Because first university students make no still make no friends and
feel loneliness maybe. So but in a dormitory, they can make a lot of
friends and if they have some trouble, a lot of people around there
will support. And also I think in a dormitory, there are no neccsery of
worry about cost,,, about cost. I think in a dormitory is cheaper than
in an apartment about cost. For example, water cost fever cost call
living cost. (90) Listen
to speech
This speech was
quite fluent, but the start of the second sentence was
confusing. It should have compared first year students living in an
apartment with those in a dormitory. The beginning of the sentence
didn’t do this. Again, the explanation of main points was weak. (Score
2.5)
first
university students make no still make no friends should be
first-year university students
might not make any friends
there are no
neccsery of worry should be it is not
necessary to worry